Is all of this based on willingness?
I’m currently in Vientiane, escaping the flood of Thailand. I’m praying that it will all get better before we know it.
Vientiane is the capital of Laos yet so peaceful. I have been doing nothing, literally nothing. It gave me sometimes to think and clear my mind. I thought I would die of boredom, too much free time that could lead me to instantaneously think about you. I was wrong, this peaceful time made me realize that my feelings weren’t as deep as I thought. I realized that deep inside, you didn’t really know me. I talked to some friends who knew me so well and knew exactly how I was feeling everytime I talked to them. I can’t believe it… I realized the reason why I was so hurt wasn’t because I didn’t have you anymore, but because I didn’t succeed in being in your life for good while I tried so hard. I have no idea why I wanted to make it work so badly.. It had to end anyways.
